我的眼睛看世界

2020年03月11日

尝试翻译 Duffy’s Jacket

Filed under: 故事 — gcd0318 @ 14:43

Duffy’s Jacket 是一篇短篇小说,在中国大概相当于高中的英语水平,没什么罕见的词汇,故事也很清楚,很少难句,还曾被拍成电影(https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5892408/),我在 https://1.cdn.edl.io/jVBjOu98QwoLVE20xlzynULrlgPps8pHb3LSBBbzFih3LlDK.pdf 找到了英文原文。写的其实还挺逗,但是有很多哏不是中文的习惯表达方式,所以不好翻译。以我这种非中英文专业的水平,自己看着笑还行,但是怎么讲出来让别人也笑,就成问题了
以中英翻译为例,我觉得只要中文读者和英文读者各自读完自己的版本,知道了同样的事情,就算是合适的翻译。无奈现在太多的翻译作品(尤其非文学作品,比如各个工程技术领域的专业书籍)都停留在只求信的层面上,达已经是可望而不可及,雅就更不要想了,看译文能猜到原文用的是什么从句结构,真让人怀疑译者的中文水平是不是远远低于英文
我对翻译这件事的理解几乎全部来自 GEB 以及其序言,比如 GEB 中英文的回文句,在中文版中就是直接被替换成了中文的一句回文,英文的藏头更是被整段的重新改写,因为这些文字游戏出现在这里的目的本来就是为了展现一种形式,而不在乎其内容
我翻译 Duffy’s Jacket 也有这方面的尝试,比如我把人名都翻译的很接地气,因为这几个名字本来也不重要,中文读者阅读的时候遇到玛丽、爱丽丝、霍雷斯、安德鲁这样的名字时,脑子里总是会有片刻的迟疑,这样就分散了对故事剧情的专注,还有一些中文口头语的表述,使用了当前流行的含义类似的词汇,有些比喻也用了汉语习惯的表达方式,让中文读者了解故事的经过,感受到原文所制造的气氛,这才是我想实现的翻译效果
当然了,专业的译者可能对此不以为然,这也不奇怪,毕竟大家追求的目标就不一样

Duffy’s Jacket
大肥的衣服

If my cousin Duffy had the brains of a turnip it never would have happened. But as far as I’m concerned, Duffy makes a turnip look bright. My mother disagrees. According to her, Duffy is actually very bright. She claims the reason he’s so scatterbrained is that he’s too busy being brilliant inside his own head to remember everyday things. Maybe. But hanging around with Duffy means you spend a lot of time saying, “Your glasses, Duffy,” or “Your coat, Duffy,” or-well, you get the idea: a lot of three- word sentences that start with “Your,” end with “Duffy,” and have words like book, radio, wallet, or whatever it is he’s just put down and left behind, stuck in the middle.
大肥是我表弟,他要是有猪的脑子,都不至于有这事。其实我都觉得,跟他比,猪都算聪明的。但是我妈总说不至于,她说大肥其实挺聪明的,就是想的事太多,有些事就不往心里去,所以看着有点丢三落四。就算她说的对吧,反正跟大肥在一块,你基本上一直得提醒他,“大肥,你眼镜”,“大肥,你衣服”,总之就是反正甭管什么,书啊,手机啊,钱包啊,他放那就找不着,你就老得问他,“大肥,你什么什么”的

Me, I think turnips are brighter.
反正我就是觉得,他比猪还笨

But since Duffy’s my cousin, and since my mother and her sister are both single parents, we tend to do a lot of things together-like camping, which is how we got into the mess I want to tell you about.
但是因为我和大肥都是单亲家庭的孩子,大肥是我大姨的孩子,所以我们俩还必须经常在一块,就比如这次郊游。我给你讲讲我们这次点有多背

Personally, I thought camping was a big mistake. But since Mom and Aunt Elise are raising the three of us-me, Duffy, and my little sister, Marie-on their own, they’re convinced they have to do man- stuff with us every once in a while. I think they read some book that said me and Duffy would come out weird if they don’t. You can take him camping all you want. It ain’t gonna make Duffy normal.
其实我都觉得我们压根就不该来郊游,但是我妈和我大姨都是独自带孩子,我大姨还有个女儿,也就是我表妹小丽,所以她们老姐俩是当妈又当爹,有些当爹的该干的事她们也得承担起来。她们大概是关注了什么关于青少年心理学的公众号吧,就觉得如果她们俩不让我们知道男人是什么样,我和大肥长大了可能会变成娘炮,所以才计划了这次郊游。不过就算你们带大肥去郊游,他也还是个奇葩

Anyway, the fact that our mothers were getting wound up to do something fatherly, combined with the fact that Aunt Elise’s boss had a friend who had a friend who said we could use his cabin, added up to the five of us bouncing along this horrible dirt road late one Friday in October. It was late because we had lost an hour going back to get Duffy’s suitcase. I suppose it wasn’t actually Duffy’s fault. No one remembered to say, “Your suitcase, Duffy,” so he couldn’t really have been expected to remember it.
反正不管怎么说吧,这两位当妈的打算干点当爹的该干的事。正好我大姨的老板有个拐弯抹角隔了好几层八杆子打不着的朋友在郊区有间空房可以借给我们,所以最终我们在十月的一个周五的晚上,沿着一条烂路来到了这里。你可别问我为什么不早点,我才不会告诉你是因为大肥忘了拿行李我们又拐回家才耽误了一个小时。其实这事吧,也不能赖大肥,要怪也只能怪我们谁都没想起来说一句“大肥,你行李”——你总不能指望大肥他自己记得住吧

“Oh, Elise,” cried my mother, as we got deeper into the woods. “Aren’t the leaves beautiful?”
当我们走在丛林里的时候,我妈一个劲的跟我大姨说:“老姐姐你瞅瞅这树,这叶子,真好看。”

That’s why it doesn’t make sense for them to try to do man-stuff with us. If it had been our fathers, they would have been drinking beer and burping and maybe telling dirty stories instead of talking about the leaves. So why try to fake it?
你看看,就这还说要让我们看看男人是什么样,我爸才不会看什么树叶,这时候他应该喝酒放屁讲个荤笑话什么的,你们装也装的不像啊

Anyway, we get to this cabin, which is about eighteen million miles from nowhere, and to my surprise, it’s not a cabin at all. It’s a house. A big house.
算了不说这个,总之我们走了十万八千里终于找到了我大姨的老板的那个朋友的朋友的房子——说实话我一开始就以为是个小破房子了不起了,这一看才知道,这是个大别墅啊,巨特么大

“Oh, my,” said my mother as we pulled into the driveway.
我们刚一拐过弯来我妈就看傻了:“额滴神呀。”

“Isn’t it great?” chirped Aunt Elise. “It’s almost a hundred years old, back from the time when they used to build big hunting lodges up here. It’s the only one in the area still standing. Horace said he hasn’t been able to get up here in some time. That’s why he was glad to let us use it. He said it would be good to have someone go in and air the place out.”
我大姨也惊着了:“这也太牛逼了,过去这地方流行建庄园,那帮人没事就来度个假什么的,现在大概也就剩下这一座了吧,老霍说他也有日子没来了,那房子一直没人住还不得糟了啊,所以他二话不说就借给咱们,说是让我们来添点人气。”

Leave it to Aunt Elise. This place didn’t need airing out – it needed fumigating. I never saw so many spiderwebs in my life. From the sounds we heard coming from the walls, the mice seemed to have made it a population center. We found a total of two working lightbulbs: one in the kitchen, and one in the dining room, which was paneled with dark wood and had a big stone fireplace at one end.
你们可别听我大姨瞎逼逼,其实吧,这地方怪不得没人气呢,换谁都不愿意来,我这辈子见过的蜘蛛网加起来都没这么多,墙里头稀里哗啦的听着得有好几万的老鼠。满屋子就俩灯泡,厨房一个,餐厅一个,灯泡底座还是乌木的,紧里头有石头的灶,没了

“Oh, my,” said my mother again.
我妈又喊了一声:“额滴神呀。”

Duffy, who’s allergic to about fifteen different things, started to sneeze.
大肥开始吸溜鼻子,他的体质对什么都过敏

“Isn’t it charming?” asked Aunt Elise hopefully.
“这地方不错吧?”我大姨还腆着脸问呢

No one answered her.
没人搭理她

Four hours later we had managed to get three bedrooms clean enough to sleep in without getting the heebie-jeebies – one for Mom and Aunt Elise, one for Marie, and one for me and Duffy.
我们收拾了好几个小时,才收拾出来三个卧室勉强能睡。我妈和我大姨一间,我妹一间,我和大肥一间

After a supper of beans and franks we hit the hay, which I think is what our mattresses were stuffed with. As I was drifting off, which took about thirty seconds, it occurred to me that four hours of housework wasn’t all that much of a man-thing, something it might be useful to remember the next time Mom got one of these plans into her head.
我们凑合吃了口饭就准备睡觉了,连床都没有,就是每人一堆草,但我还是基本上秒睡。我就觉得花好几个小时收拾个睡觉的地方,这事一点不像男人该干的,但愿下回我妈再琢磨这么不靠谱的事的时候,能想起来这个教训

Things looked better in the morning when we went outside and found a stream where we could go wading. (“Your sneakers, Duffy.”)
一直到第二天早上,我们在附近发现一条河,可以涉水玩一会,我的心情才稍微好了一点——还不能忘了提醒“大肥你的鞋”

Later we went back and started poking around the house, which really was enormous. That was when things started getting a little spooky. In the room next to ours I found a message scrawled on the wall. BEWARE THE SENTINEL, it said in big black letters.
玩了一会,我们又回来在房子里各处看看。这房子真特么大,而且还有点诡异。就在我们房间的隔壁,我看到有一行歪歪扭扭的字:有妖怪。笔画很粗,写的很重

When I showed Mom and Aunt Elise they said it was just a joke and got mad at me for frightening Marie.
我让我妈和我大姨来看,她们说这没准是谁闹着玩呢。我让小丽来看,她吓够呛,我妈她们还冲我嚷嚷

Marie wasn’t the only one who was frightened.
其实不光是小丽,我也害怕

We decided to go out for another walk. (“Your lunch, Duffy.”) We went deep into the woods, following a faint trail that kept threatening to disappear but never actually faded away altogether. It was a hot day, even in the deep woods, and after a while we decided to take off our coats.
我们打算出去转转,走另一条路,还得提醒,“大肥,带吃的”。我们沿着一条若隐若现断断续续的小路一直往林子里走,天还挺热,林子里也不凉快,我们走了一会,就都把外衣脱了拿着

When we got back and Duffy didn’t have his jacket, did they get mad at him? My mother actually had the nerve to say, “Why didn’t you remind him? You know he forgets things like that.”
等我们回来,大肥果然找不着衣服了。你猜我妈她们什么反应,我妈居然问我:“你怎么不提醒他呢?你不知道他爱忘事吗?”

What do I look like, a walking memo pad?
我靠?你把我当什么?人肉记事本?

Anyway, I had other things on my mind-like the fact that I was convinced someone had been following us while we were in the woods.
算了算了不跟你们计较,我还得考虑别的问题:刚才我在林子就一直觉得有人在跟踪我们

I tried to tell my mother about it, but first she said I was being ridiculous, and then she accused me of trying to sabotage the trip.
我跟我妈说这事,我妈居然说我扯淡,还说我是不是故意的,打算破坏这次郊游

So I shut up. But I was pretty nervous, especially when Mom and Aunt Elise announced that they were going into town which was twenty miles away-to pick up some supplies (like lightbulbs).
行吧,那我不说了,但是我还是害怕,尤其我妈和我大姨还说她们打算跑去 20 里地以外的城里买几个灯泡什么

“You kids will be fine on your own,” said Mom cheerfully.
“你们几个小孩自己要乖乖的哦?”我妈居然还挺高兴

“You can make popcorn and play Monopoly. And there’s enough soda here for you to make yourselves sick on.”
“你们可以吃零食,玩过家家,别喝凉水,闹肚子。”

And with that they were gone.
说完她们就走了

It got dark.
天黑了

We played Monopoly.
我们玩过家家

They didn’t come back. That didn’t surprise me. Since Duffy and I were both fifteen they felt it was okay to leave us on our own, and Mom had warned us they might decide to have dinner at the little inn we had seen on the way up.
我妈走的时候还说,她们可能会在路上吃点东西,所以她们一直到现在都没回来,我也没当回事。其实本来也没啥,我和大肥都十五岁了,她们觉得我俩也出不了什么大事

But I would have been happier if they had been there. Especially when something started scratching on the door. “What was that?” said Marie.
但是我现在特别希望她们能赶紧回来,因为外面好像有什么东西在挠门。“什么声音?”小丽听见了

“What was what?” asked Duffy.
大肥也问:“什么声音?”

“That!” she said, and this time I heard it, too. My stomach rolled over, and the skin at the back of my neck started to prickle.
“听!”小丽说。这次我也听见了,当时我就觉得心里一紧,后脊背直冒凉气

“Maybe it’s the Sentinel!” I hissed.
“是不是就是妖怪?”我小声嘀咕了一句

“Andrew!” yelled Marie. “Mom told you not to say that.”
“柱子哥!”小丽大叫,“妈妈不让你这么说。”

“She said not to try to scare you,” I said. “I’m not. I’m scared! I told you I heard something following us in the woods today.”
“妈妈是不让我吓唬你。”我说,“可是我也没吓唬你啊,我也害怕呢,而且我在林子里的时候就说我觉得有人跟着我们。”

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

“But you said it stopped,” said Duffy, “So how would it know where we are now?”
大肥说:“但是你后来不是说没了吗,那怎么现在又找上我们了?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it tracked us, like a bloodhound.”
“你问我我问谁去?我也不知道这怎么回事,是不是它能追踪我们,就比如像狗那样能闻味?”

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

“Don’t bloodhounds have to have something to give them a scent?” asked Marie. “Like a piece of clothing, or–”
小丽说:“追踪也要有迹可循吧,比如我们掉了什么东西,或者……”

We both looked at Duffy.
我们一起盯着大肥

“Your jacket, Duffy!”
“大肥 ,你衣服”

Duffy turned white.
大肥脸都绿了

“That’s silly,” he said after a moment.
过了一会他说:“净扯犊子!”

“There’s something at the door,” I said frantically. “Maybe it’s been lurking around all day, waiting for our mothers to leave. Maybe it’s been waiting for years for someone to come back here.”
我紧张的冲他说:“门外肯定有事,没准都盯我们一天了,就等大人们离开了好对我们下手,这地方成年论辈子的没人来,它们可能都等急了。”

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

“I don’t believe it,” said Duffy, “It’s just the wind moving a branch. I’ll prove it.”
大肥说:“真的吗?我不信,这就是刮风而已,不信你们看。”

He got up and headed for the door. But he didn’t open it. Instead he peeked through the window next to it. When he turned back, his eyes looked as big as the hard-boiled eggs we had eaten for supper.
他站起来走到口,但是没有开门,而是顺着旁边的窗户缝向外看。突然他一回头,眼睛瞪的跟俩鸡蛋似的

“There’s something out there!” he hissed. “Something big!”
“外面有东西!”他说,“有个大家伙!”

“I told you,” I cried. “Oh, I knew there was something there.”
我冲他大喊:“我说什么来着,啊,我早就说不对劲。”

“Andrew, are you doing this just to scare me?” said Marie. “Because if you are–”
小丽说:“柱子哥你是故意的吧,你是吓唬我呢是不是?要是你……”

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

“Come on,” I said, grabbing her by the hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
我一把抓住她的手说:“快,咱们快跑。”

I started to lead her up the stairs.
我想带她上楼

“Not there!” said Duffy” “If we go up there, we’ll be trapped.”
大肥说:“别上去,到楼上正好被抓个老实的。”

“You’re right,” I said. “Let’s go out the back way!”
我说:“也对,咱们从后门走。”

The thought of going outside scared the daylights out of me. But at least out there we would have somewhere to run. Inside – well, who knew what might happen if the thing found us inside. We went into the kitchen.
其实我也不敢出去,但是至少出去还能有条活路,在屋里……我靠,要是被它们堵在屋里,那可真完蛋了。所以我们跑到了后厨

I heard the front door open.
我好像听到前门被打开了

“Let’s get out of here!” I hissed.
我小声说:“快跑。”

We scooted out the back door. “What now?” I wondered, looking around frantically. “The barn,” whispered Duffy. “We can hide in the barn.”
我们从后门跑了出来。我紧张的四处张望,心里想着:“然后怎么办。”大肥大叫了一声:“那有个仓库,去躲躲。”

“Good idea,” I said. Holding Marie by the hand, I led the way to the barn. But the door was held shut by a huge padlock.
“好。”我答应了一声,拉着小丽的手一起跑到仓库,结果发现仓库是锁着的。

The wind was blowing harder, but not hard enough to hide the sound of the back door of the house opening, and then slamming shut.
风越来越大,但我们还是听见开后门的声音,然后猛的一下又关上了

“Quick!” I whispered. “It knows we’re out here. Let’s sneak around front. It will never expect us to go back into the house.”
“赶紧的。”我小声说,“我们可能被发现了,现在我们偷偷绕到前面去,它们肯定想不到我们会又回去。”

Duffy and Marie followed me as I led them behind a hedge. I caught a glimpse of something heading toward the barn and swallowed nervously It was big. Very big.
大肥和小丽跟着我藏在一排篱笆后面,我隐约看见有什么大家伙朝着仓库走过去了,真是大,巨大巨大的,吓得我大气都不敢出

“I’m scared,” whispered Marie.
“我害怕。”小丽在我耳边嘀咕着

“Shhhh.”’ I hissed. “We can’t let it know where we are.”
我赶紧小声说:“嘘……会被发现的”

We slipped through the front door. We locked it, just like people always do in the movies, though what good that would do I couldn’t figure, since if something really wanted to get at us, it would just break the window and come in.
我们偷偷溜回到前门,赶紧把门锁上。其实我也不知道锁门有啥用,谁真要进来抓我们,把门砸了不就行了,但是恐怖片里都锁门,我就也锁了

“Upstairs,” I whispered.
“上楼!”我小声说

We tiptoed up the stairs. Once we were in our bedroom, I thought we were safe. Crawling over the floor, I raised my head just enough to peek out the window. My heart almost stopped. Standing in the moonlight was an enormous, manlike creature. It had a scrap of cloth in its hands. It was looking around – looking for us. I saw it lift its head and sniff the wind. To my horror, it started back toward the house.
我们蹑手蹑脚的上了楼,进了卧室我才觉得稍微安全了一点。我爬到窗户边,探头偷瞄着外面。我靠吓死我了,月光下站着一个巨大的跟人似的东西,手里拿着一团布,四处张望着,大概是在找我们吧。我看见它抬起头,到处闻。更可怕的是,它居然转身向房子这走过来了

“It’s coming back!” I yelped, more frightened than ever.
这次我真吓傻了,大喊一声:“又回来了!”

“How does it know where we are?” asked Marie.
小丽问:“它怎么知道我们在这?”

I knew how. It had Duffy’s jacket. It was tracking us down, like some giant bloodhound.
我觉得就是大肥的衣服招的,它才能找到我们,就像猎狗那样

We huddled together in the middle of the room, trying to think of what to do.
我们在房间里抱在一起不知所措

A minute later we heard it.
很快,我们又听见了

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

None of us moved.
谁都不敢动

Scratch, scratch.
在挠门,还在挠

We stopped breathing, then jumped up in alarm at a terrible crashing sound.
我们都紧张得快背过气了,突然一声巨响把我们吓得跳起来

The door was down.
门倒了

We hunched back against the wall as heavy footsteps came clomping up the stairs.
楼梯上传来一阵沉重的脚步,我们吓得靠着墙一动也不敢动

I wondered what our mothers would think when they got back. Would they find our bodies? Or would there be nothing left of us at all?
等我妈和我大姨她们回来看到这场面会怎样?能剩下三具尸体吗?还是尸骨无存?

Thump. Thump. Thump.
duang!duang!duang!

It was getting closer.
脚步声一步一步的靠近我们

Thump. Thump. Thump.
duang!duang!duang!

It was outside the door.
到门口了

Knock, knock.
当当当敲门

“Don’t answer!” hissed Duffy.
“别出声!”大肥小声说。

Like I said, he doesn’t have the brains of a turnip.
你看看我说什么来着,猪都比他强

It didn’t matter. The door wasn’t locked. It came swinging open. In the shaft of light I saw a huge figure. The Sentinel of the Woods! It had to be. I thought I was going to die.
有个屁用嘛,门都没锁,一推就开了,一个大个子站在光影下,大概这就是林子里的妖怪!我觉得这下死定了

The figure stepped into the room. Its head nearly touched the ceiling.
它走到屋里,头都快挨着房顶了

Marie squeezed against my side, tighter than a tick in a dog’s ear.
小丽紧紧的贴着我,比狗皮膏药贴的还紧

The huge creature sniffed the air. It turned in our direction. Its eyes seemed to glow. Moonlight glittered on its fangs.
那个大家伙吸了吸鼻子,转向我们。它瞪着小红眼珠,月光映照着它的獠牙寒光闪闪

Slowly the Sentinel raised its arm. I could see Duffy’s jacket dangling from its fingertips. And then it spoke.
妖怪慢慢的举起手,手里拿着大肥的外衣,说:

“You forgot your jacket, stupid.”
“衣服丢了,二货。”

It threw the jacket at Duffy, turned around, and stomped down the stairs.
它把衣服扔给大肥,转身,又一步一步慢慢的走下楼

Which is why, I suppose, no one has had to remind Duffy to remember his jacket, or his glasses, or his math book, for at least a year now.
从那之后到现在一年多了,我们再也不用提醒大肥别忘了衣服,眼镜,或者书什么的

After all, when you leave stuff lying around, you never can be sure just who might bring it back.
因为毕竟,如果你丢了东西,给你送回来的说不定会是谁

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